We have lost the ancient wisdom that keeps us sane

Here in Southern Maine where I live, we are lucky enough to have a beautiful sauna and bath house (it’s called the Washington Baths, and if you live in Maine/surrounding areas and have never gone—GO RIGHT NOW!)

Anyways, I was there yesterday for a little night time session and I was sitting in the outdoor hot tub in the courtyard that is a tight enclosure, but then is wide open to the sky.

It was a perfectly clear and cold night, one where the stars and moon are just so piercing and seem almost frozen in time and space.

I was staring up at the sky and saw two stars (they very well may have been planets, I’m not sure) at different juxtapositions in relation to the moon.

At that moment, I had a thought:

These stars (or planets) will not be in this position forever. In fact, the next time I have the mindfulness to gaze at the night sky, this could look very different. There will always be a constant ebb and flow to their relation to the moon, and all of the other planets and stars.

We know that celestial bodies are always in motion—hence, the study of astrology. And we even know that these movements and placements effect the energy of our planet, and ourselves as humans.

As I observed this, I had a thought.

I have been holding myself to a standard that not even the majestic night sky can live up to. I have been trying to find my static place in this life—the exact “perfect” way that I am supposed to live day after day. The same routines, consistent goals, never wavering in what I am working toward.

But the truth is, I can’t seem to figure this out, no matter how hard I try.

Sometimes, I want to be a type-A, boss-babe, entrepreneur lady, consultant-badass.

Other days, I want to write to you all, frolic in the woods, pull tarot cards and make homemade bone broth.

It feels so inconsistent, like I can’t guess what costume I’m going to put on that day, and in a way, it feels very exhausting.

We grew up with career day, were expected to choose professional paths at age 18, and the leading conversational question (in America, at least) is “what do you do for a living?”

We are expected to know what we are doing, why we are doing it, and exactly where we are going at all times.

I find myself constantly wanting to put myself in a box so that things can feel easier and more clear.

I want predictability. I really wish I could just be happy being an accountant (or something adultish like that) for the next 40 years. It would quiet a lot of my constant internal monologue.

But the reality of my life, especially as I have worked on myself more and more and actually feel more connected to who I truly am, is that I am as dynamic as the night sky. And I have a feeling that you are, too.

We know that an astrology chart shows the many, often conflicting, sides and facets of a person.

But as in the western world we have been forced to ignore this ancient wisdom, and instead expect people to place stagnant characterizations on themselves.

Being able to slap a few labels on your life is a lot less messy, and far more “safe” feeling, but when we have to actually live up to it, without any room for change, growth or expression, the pain can be excruciating. It’s unnatural.

I want to step into a newness within myself. A compassion for the fact that I am made of stardust, and just as the sky constantly changes, so do I.

I know I often write about my own experiences on here, but I share in the hopes that you can gain something from what I am experiencing as well.

If I can take a part of the compassion that I am practicing with myself and extend it to you if any of this resonates, I gladly will. We need more grace with ourselves and others in this world.

I honor your truest desires, and the fact that you are not a static person, but a very complex soul.

Let’s continue to figure this out together:

What it means to be women who have an ancient wisdom in their souls, who know that life is very much more deep and wide than our world sometimes allows for. Maybe as we hold space for one another, we can change the dynamic of this planet, even a nudge.

I always hold hope.

Lots of love your way today and always,

Sarah